In honor of Halloween, today’s topic is *cue haunted house music* scary movies, or more specifically, the things I don’t understand about them:
- “Is anyone in here?” Whenever the actor goes into an abandoned mansion, haunted house, or wherever,they always ask that question. Do they really think someone’s going to come out from behind the curtain like, “Haha over here! You got me!”
- Whenever the actor is running away, she’ll always trip and fall. But does she get up? No…she’ll just try crawling/pulling herself across the floor. First of all, she’s obviously going to get caught by the ghost/possessed person. Second of all, she’s ruining her clothes. Do you really want to wear that dress again after it got dragged across a dusty floor in an abandoned mansion? No thank you.
- Someone always has to check where that noise is coming from. If you heard a bump in the night, would you get out of bed and walk around the empty house to check it out? I wouldn’t! I’d lock myself in my room and put a chair in front of the door, jump out the window (my bedrooms on the first floor), or just cower in fear under the covers.
Scary Movies: Rated Yang
While all my other friends parents have taught them the ‘Doctor Dentist Lawyer’ mantra since birth, my parent’s have been about ‘keeping door’s open’. Taking all honor’s classes,maintaining a 4.0 or above GPA, doing extracurriculars, sports, and getting into honor society? Sure, I have to do all those things, but not so I can get into Harvard, get a law degree, etc. Unfortunately, once you get on ‘the path to success’ (gag) it’s expected that you’re going to become an Ivy League graduate with a PhD or doctorate in one of those areas. So, if you’d ever like to see a priceless look of horror on almost any adults face, just tell them you’re considering the following careers:
- Set your own hours!
- Work from home! (and we mean that quite literally. You’ll be sleeping on the street)
- Required: Striped Shirt, Paint, paper cup for money
- To apply, see ‘One-Eyed Dave’ on the corner of First and Eighth Street!
- Work from home!
- Express yourself!
- Required: Please come knowing:
- How to tap into your neighbor’s wi-fi
- Racial slurs
- Sexist Remarks
- Offensive language
- Absolutely nothing about the subject you’re criticizing!
- To apply, contact ‘Anonymous User’.
Careers: Rated Yin
I think I’m pretty qualified for this job:)
Me saying ‘I’m not the biggest fan of cafeteria food’ is the understatement of the year. It’s like Bruce Jenner saying he’s had a little Botox or Snooki saying she’s not the most classy person.
…I was going to put in a picture of Snooki being her classy self here, but I don’t want to get flagged.
I think this starts to paint the picture…
Anyway, I was holding out hope for the high school cafeteria, which the high schoolers assured us was better than anything we’d eaten in junior high.
“I think I’ll buy lunch today”
Famous last words.
And so I ventured into depths of the cafeteria. The first thing I noticed were the high-pitched screams and bloody knives. Just kidding (obviously. my school doesn’t need a lawsuit.). The so-called pizza I had planned on buying was a radioactive, neon orange. I moved on to the Italian Pasta Bar (which, I assure you, is NOT Italian) to find some undercooked noodles in a pool of water and a yellow gooey substance resembling nacho cheese. The entire place smelled strongly of antiseptic, sweat, and teenage angst.
I looked around for something remotely edible, preferably something prepackaged that my school didn’t have a chance to burn.
And that’s how I ended up gnawing on a single strawberry pop tart, envying my friends brown bag lunches. Moral of the story: pack your lunch or suffer the prepackaged consequences.
High School Cafeteria Food: Rated Yang
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Tagged angst, antiseptic, botox, bruce jenner, cafeteria, cafeteria food, classy, high school, humor, jenner, lawsuit, lunch, moral, pasta, pizza, pop tart, prepackaged food, radioactice, snooki, strawberry, teen, teenager, yang
I usually get along pretty well with teachers. I keep the sarcasm to a minimum and keep the hilarious comment about their polyester stretch pants to myself. So when everyone told me the science teacher I have first trimester hates children, I wasn’t too worried.
I should’ve been. This isn’t a ‘barely tolerates’ attitudes towards children, it’s a ‘the witch in Hanzel and Gretel is my idol (damn lawsuits nowadays)’ attitude. I will give her this- she is an equal opportunity hater. It doesn’t matter if you’re the kiss-up, the brain, or the football player smiling at your thigh every few seconds- she hates them all.
So why did she become a teacher? I have no idea. I’ll just keep trying to subtly cough on her in hopes she’ll take a sick day (jk..kinda). On the bright side, the song ‘Run Devil Run’ has found a special place in my heart and on my iPod.
Equal Opportunity Hater: Rated Yang
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. High School’s just started, and staying awake in Science has been a bigger priority than blogging (more on that later) 😛
Anyway, after going to germany, I don’t think I’ll ever look at a Motel 6 or Holiday Inn the same way again. I’ve never loved the idea of spending $6o on a cramped room with a broken hair dryer attached to yellowing drywall, but I’ve never really questioned it. You know the saying “ignorance is bliss”?
In Germany, one lady gave us homemade apricot jam. I’m not sure if I can bring myself to go back to those little grape jelly packets :-P. The “continental breakfast” from Motel 6 or Holiday Inn is clearly from the wrong continent. Stale frosted flakes, bland Insta-Eggs, and an orange juice machine? Really? And I’m pretty sure that limp piece of Wonder Bread with some burn marks on it wouldn’t be considered French Toast in any continent.
German Hotels: Rated Yin